Stupid statue man

I went shopping today. Well I say shopping, I consider it a mission to find a certain item that meant I had to enter a shop in order to get it. I don't like shopping but it has to be done otherwise I'd be naked and/or dead.

I was walking through the high street and there was one of those stupid statue people who want you to give them money for just standing there. They're just ridiculous.



It's not entertaining at all. It's just a guy standing still. yet everyone still gawps at him, watching pigeons land on his head and waiting to see if they're going to crap in his hair. It's disgusting. If I wanted to watch stupid birds shitting all over people I'd download some scat porn.

OK fine he's gone to all the trouble of painting himself and he has stood still for a long time, but it's not fun or interesting. It's boring. I'm sure he'd make more money doing something useful. There are some still performers I see which are actually fun to watch that have cool clothes and look like they're part of a movie scene and do a slow motion act when someone pays them. But this guy doesn't, this guy is just shit! Shit at everything. He can't even make a success of standing still. He might as well just sit down on a bench and eat a sandwich, it would be just as interesting.

I mean why does this guy even bother getting up in the morning? Did one day he think "you know what? I'm going to do something with my life! I'm going to paint myself black then go stand in the street and get shat on by pigeons" What a ****ing nutcase. Don't give me that "oh he's a tramp and it's the only thing he can do" crap. First off, where does he get the paint? Does he keep finding it in a skip behind a paint factory? And it can't be any old paint, it must be some special stuff, so where does he get the money for that? Oh I know, the pennies people put in his pot. A great business model... Buy some paint to make money to buy some more ****ing paint. What an idiot.

He doesn't at atmosphere. He just looks stupid.