Skiing is for wankers.

I hate fucking skiing. It's for wankers to go somewhere they can ponce around in their designer ski goggles and show off to other wankers whose idea of a fun holiday is smashing their face open on a someone else's skis. I've been skiing before, and it's shit. You go to the top of a mountain, then you go back down again. What's the point? It's so fucking dangerous! You're going down a mountain on a couple of glamorised blanks of wood at the same time as a hundred other wankers trying to prove they're just as much of an idiot as you are. And what's worse is parents make their kids do it! "don't worry daughter, it's worth risking your mobility to prove to my friends I'm better than them, trust me :)".



Of course these wankers are more worried about how much money they can prove they have by being seen wearing £1000 ski jackets, because that's more important. Ski resorts are a brilliant idea though from a business point of view. Build up a reputation for being the holiday destination for the elite, then once the morons are down, charge them the earth for lessons, and if they're stupid enough to actually ski down the slopes charge them again for rescuing them by dragging them to the medical centre in a sleeping bag, and then charge them again for telling them they've crippled themselves for life :D. You gotta love the skiing holiday.

"Did I tell you about my Rolex?"


I don't know about you, but my idea of a holiday is lying on a hot beach in the sun with an ice cold pineapple juice, with a pineapple in it, whilst watching hot women playing volleyball by the sea and occasionally falling in, getting themselves all wet and splashing each other. You don't get that with skiing though. All you get is long queues to get onto the ski lifts and a wanker telling you about his new Bentley.